Some things are Hard to Fake
by SweetMisery49
Summary: *Updated. Carried on from Finale. Andy can't stop thinking about how Sam almost died. She also discovers a secret about Luke that sends her emotions reeling. Will this be the end of her and Like and Will she finally realize how she feels about Sam?
1. Safe

Sam's POV

When Sam had originally come up with this silly fake laugh, he thought it'd been a good idea and acting job on his part. After a long night though, he was even starting to annoy himself with it. The drug dealers didn't seem to impressed either and he knew he was treading on thin ice. His gut hurt with worry for McNally and he hoped she'd keep her wits about her and not do anything stupid. She was a great cop and he knew he'd never forgive himself if anything happened to her. '_And not just because you're in love with her.' _Sam's inner voice kicked in and he shook those thoughts away. Burying those feelings so far hadn't worked so far but for now it was all he had available. Maybe he just wasn't burying them deep enough.

Sam did his best to shift his focus on the situation at hand so that he didn't get himself killed too. The drug dealers led him into the abandoned warehouse and Sam felt the hairs on his arm start to stand. His gut knew this was not a good situation. The door opened and he knew immediately that his cover was blown wide open. Landry was in the corner and his eyes narrowed in on him before Sam could even blink.

Sam was able to anticipate the gun being drawn just in time as he made a dive behind some old barrels before the others could grab a hold of him. Shots rang out in the building so loud Sam could barely hear the Police yell out as they stormed in, guns blazing and immediately felt relieved for the backup. Andy must have found out Landry was here for them to have come so quickly. She was even better then Sam had thought and he'd had more faith in her then anyone. The police took over the scene quickly and Sam stood up dusting off his clothes. Oliver came over with a smile, clearly glad to see that Sam had dove for cover in the crossfire.

"Glad your okay Buddy" Oliver said reaching out to pat his back.

"You and me both" Sam replied breathing in a sigh of relief.

"Your rookie really came through for you today. She got wind of Landry and knew we had to come in and rescue you." Oliver told him.

"I knew she could do it." Sam replied shrugging his shoulders but he couldn't help but be proud. She had come a long way that girl.

"We'll take care of this. You go clean up and we'll see you tomorrow." Oliver said nodding to the exit.

Sam nodded and made his way out and into the cool night. He noticed the way the air hit his skin and he realize how much you appreciate the little things in life the nights you get shot at. Leaning on his truck he took in the scene and watched his fellow coppers busy at work. The biggest bust in 15's history – what a night, he thought to himself. Then he saw _her _and actually felt his heart jump. She was looking for him and then he realized that she didn't know he was alive yet.

"McNally!" He called out.

She turned and smiled. He realized as they stood there that he probably owed his life to her. Not that it mattered now. She practically owned him and she didn't even know it. Sam had always been a tough guy, knew how to take care of things. Didn't need anyone and always made his own path. And yet one word from her and Sam was putty in her hands. He hated himself for it because he knew there was nothing he could do about but sit back and watch her live out her happy life with Luke. And could he blame her? Luke was as good as guy as they came. If anyone deserved that happiness it was Andy .

He finished talking to her and started to walk away, turning his head only slightly in time to watch her rush into Luke's arm. He turned away quickly, stuffing his hands in his pockets and kept walking. He'd survived that night thanks to her and that was what mattered. Heck, he'd even gotten to kiss her even though they were acting. Well... she had been acting. No one had to know that for him those kisses were more real than most things in his life. Suddenly the events of the night the power went out came swirling back into his mind and he tried once more to bury those memories as well. He'd thought of that night a million times since it happened and he knew dwelling on those memories was just torturing himself. Getting the girl too would have been too much luck in one day and the universe just did not work like that. Sam knew that better than anyone.

Andy's POV

Andy stood there shaking, her eyes scanning the scene, desperately searching for a trace of him. She saw a body bag out of the corner of her eye and took a deep breath before forcing herself to look over at it as they uncovered the face. She almost died with relief to see that it wasn't Sam.

"McNally!" A deep and familiar voice called from behind her.

"Your okay." Andy replied whipping around to see him leaning casually on the side of his truck.

"Yah... Thanks to you. You were great in there" He smiled. Andy smiled back still shaking from what had just happened. She was relieved to see him.

"Thanks." Andy said.

"See you don't have to fake it anymore..." Sam told her. Andy shrugged her shoulders and smiled a bit bigger.

"Well... ah you should get in there and get his statement..."Sam said a bit awkwardly as he spied Luke out of the corner of his eye. "See you tomorrow Copper?" He added with a raise of his eyebrows.

"See you tomorrow..."Andy added softly turning to watch him walk away as Luke headed over.

"Hey he's okay... You had his back" Luke reminded her.

"Yeah..." Andy nodded slowly. "Thank you for having mine."

She hugged him tightly asking with a smile when they would get their keys and hoped she was making the right choice. He seemed happy by it and held her close. She thought she felt happy about it too. So much had happened that night and she knew Luke loved her. He'd backed her up and she was grateful for that. Let her know that despite their troubles he was a good partner to have, on the force and in life. But somehow Sam's words... "You don't have to fake it anymore." Still rang in her head. She shook them aside.

Was she still faking it? Andy wondered as she headed over to talk to Traci and Dov. It was true she cared for Luke, but she cared for Sam too. She didn't know what she would have done if he had died tonight. They had become close as partners and the night they almost slept together had been one of the best mistakes of her life. She knew she had never felt such panic and pain in her heart, the way she had running from that building not knowing if he would be okay. Not even the night she had shot her first person compared to the way she felt to think Sam might be dead. That was a terror that ran so deep she still felt in shock over all of it.

"You okay?" Traci asked as they started to pack up.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Andy smiled weakly. "Just need to get some sleep." She added.

"Okay... but if you need to talk. I'm here. I mean your partner almost died in there. That's enough to shake anyone up." Traci reminded her.

Andy nodded hoping Traci would drop it. Traci knew her and Sam's history and Andy knew the undertones of Traci's question. She knew that Andy cared for Sam in ways more than a regular partner should and definitely, more then she should before moving in with her new boyfriend. Why was life so complicated?

She waved goodbye and headed toward Luke who was busy talking with the other detectives.

"Hey. You ready to go?" Andy asked softly touching his shoulder.

Luke put an arm around her shoulders.

"Almost. Wait for me in the car? I'll be there soon." Luke promised handing her the keys. Andy nodded but couldn't help wonder why soon meant. She felt immediately guilty for thinking it. Luke had had her back tonight. They were moving in together and they were happy for the most part. Just because he wasn't always around didn't mean he didn't have her back right?

Andy didn't know how long she sat in the car thinking and reflecting back on the night. It could have been hours or it could have been five minutes, by the time Luke opened the opposite car door. They drove back to his apartment in silence. All she knew that on the day she had finally made up her mind and chosen Luke once and for all, it should have made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Instead, all she felt was tiredness and guilt.

'_You've had a rough night. Your partner almost died and you were scared. You'll be happy for you and Luke tomorrow. Luke loves you so you should love him too. He's a great guy.' _Andy's inner voice reminded her.

She looked over at Luke who smiled back, reaching over to squeeze her thigh and knew she was lucky to have him. So what was her problem?

They pulled into the driveway and both of them climbed into bed feeling exhausted. Luke feel asleep immediately but of course Andy laid there with her eyes wide open.

"_You don't have it fake it anymore..." Sam had said._

'_Why does it feel like I still am?_ ' Andy asked herself as she felt a tear slid down her cheek and onto her pillow.


	2. Secrets

**Chapter 2**

Andy sighed as she glanced out the window of Luke's apartment holding a fresh steaming mug of coffee. The rain pattered gently against the window pane and the dark clouds showed no sign of going away. Luke had left very early that morning for the office to work on a case. It was funny she thought to herself, that even though they worked together they barely saw each other. She was hoping that would change once they moved into the new place. But what if she was wrong? They'd only been dating for 6 months... Was she rushing into it?

To make matters even more complicated, she had barely slept at all. Of course Luke had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but she had tossed and turn the whole night replaying the night in her mind. Thinking about how close both her and Sam had come to dying still made her feel a bit sick to her stomach. The thing was, as she had walked away from that kid with the gun, she hadn't contemplated losing her life as much as she had thought about Sam losing his. What did that mean?

Even when she did manage to fall asleep, the nightmares came furiously. Except this time she was running and running, calling Sam's name and she always got there too late. Somehow, in her nightmares the man in the body bag had turned into Sam. She'd bolted away drenched in sweat, shaking at the thought. _'It's okay... You saved him. He's fine.' _Andy reminded herself. But it was scary realizing what she could lose while being on this job – not just her life but the lives of those she cared about the most.

Andy shook her head and turned away from the window to finish getting ready for work. Pulling a large sweater over her head, she grabbed for her keys on the kitchen table but accidently knocked over a vase in the process.

"Crap" Andy muttered to herself hoping she wouldn't be late.

She headed for a closet that looked like a likely place to store a broom to clean up the mess. She found the broom laying in the corner of the closet where she expected one to be. Now to find the Dustpan, Andy thought as she glanced around. She'd never seen inside this closet before since most of the time she spent at Luke's apartment was in the kitchen or the bedroom and she'd never had any reason to snoop. That didn't mean she wasn't curious though. Understandably, the closet wasn't as tidy and organized as the rest of the apartment with odd ends and random items cluttered around. On the top shelf there was a huge box that read Division 15. _'Must be old case notes'_ Andy thought to herself.

But then she noticed that the dustpan was laying precariously on top of the box. Andy was pretty tall for a girl but she still had to stand on her tiptoes to reach it. She had just about grabbed it before she accidently pulled the box down with it and she landed in a heap on the floor as the box came tumbling down with the dustpan.

"Man, this is so not my day!" Andy grumbled outloud climbing out of the mess and looking down at it.

"I'm going to be so late..." She added unhappily as she started to pile the files back into the box.

But then she saw a photo that caught her eye. The long flowing white gown, those pretty brown eyes and long flowing dark hair. This was a wedding photo and not just any wedding photo. Andy gasped as she picked the photo up and brought it closer. This was a wedding photo of Luke as the groom. It was a younger version of him with slightly longer hair, but the smile was the same. It matched the bride's glowing grin.

Andy dropped it in surprise, feeling her insides shake. Why had he never told her? She tenderly picked it back up to have a second look, just to be sure she wasn't seeing things. But it was Luke alright standing next to a tall, pretty brunette in white. One that kinda looked familiar. Andy peered closer and felt cold. The girl in this photo looked exactly like her. Other then the girl in the photo's nose was a bit smaller, Andy almost thought she was looking at herself. She turned over the back of the photo and saw a small handwritten inscription: _Zoey and Luke Callahan – 2008._

"2 years ago" Andy breathed.

She jumped, as she heard a nearby clock chime 9:00am.

Cursing she gingerly scooped up the rest of the files, folders and photo back into the box and placed it back on the top shelf of the closet. As quick as she could she cleaned up the broken vase and headed out the door running to work, and running away from the mess of her life. 

_*** AUTHORS NOTE:** Thanks so much for all the kind reviews and watches. I really, really appreciate and feedback is always much appreciated. Rookie Blue Fans are the best. This is just a quick chapter to set up the rest of the story and next chapter will have much fun Andy/Sam Interaction. I promise. I`m hoping to have it up by the weekend and to my fellow Canadians out there, Happy Thanksgiving!_


	3. Sadness

Sam sipped on his coffee nodding as Oliver finished telling him a funny story about his kids. Sam laughed politely and felt secretly jealous of his friend's stable and seemingly normal family life. Sam wondered what that felt like but he imagined it to be wonderful. Between his short-term relationships and his long undercover jobs, he doubted if he'd ever find woman to put up with him. He assumed that was why so many couples met each other on the force, since it was hard to meet people outside of the job who understood the commitment it took. Even Monica hadn't gotten it and she worked 12 hour shifts in a hospital. Course it didn't help that he'd been living in a hole undercover for 8 months without ever giving her a phone call. Oliver didn't talk about his family too much around the force, but every now and then he couldn't resist and Sam appreciated how his face lit up as he mentioned them.

"So now that the rookies are moving on, are you going to be leaving us again?" Oliver asked curiously, hinting at Sam's love for undercover work.

"Well, I put the request in this morning to be reassigned back to Guns and Gangs this morning, so we'll see what Best says. But I think my chances are good. They lost two guys a month ago to promotions, so they're short and I have the most experience." Sam nodded.

The truth was as much as Sam had been excited to move back to Guns and Gangs at the start of the year, he had made up his mind last night that he would stay where he was. Best had asked him last night if he had wanted to keep Andy as a partner. Usually the senior officers were given their preference of working partners and Sam had agreed with Best that him and Andy did work well together. The truth was that Sam looked forward to riding with Andy every day. Enjoyed her endless rambles and silly jokes and her smile. Even if that was all she could ever give him.

He'd been looking forward to it until Luke had come whistling in this morning bragging about the new house he would be buying with Andy. That of course set Sam's Italian jealousy aflame for the millionth time since she'd started dating him. Sam knew he couldn't spend the next year of his life listening to how happy they were in their cozy little house. It seemed like the more Sam tried to hold in his feelings, the harder it got to control.

After that he'd promptly marched into Best's office and filled out the paperwork for a department transfer.

"Why they change of heart?" Best had asked curiously.

"Realized last night I miss being on the streets. It's where I belong." Sam had shrugged his shoulders.

Sam turned back to Oliver who looked back at him thoughtfully.

"Well good luck out there buddy. Been nice working with ya again, short as it was" Oliver said slapping him lightly on the back.

"You too. I'll miss taking everyone's money at poker." Sam grinned.

"Look who's trying to sneak in late..." Oliver pointed over to the corner where a Dishevelled looking Andy hurried in obviously trying to go undetected.

Sam felt his heart stop for a second as he watched her rush around the corner. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were soaked from the rain, and somehow she still managed to look beautiful. Something about the look on her face though told Sam's gut that something was off.

"Well... She had a rough night last night. We all did" Sam defended her sympathetically.

Oliver just nodded and went back to his doughnut without saying a word. Oliver knew how Sam felt about the former rookie even if he hadn't said it. Both him and Noelle had teasingly warned him about the rookie but both had kept their mouths shut for the most part which Sam appreciated. Like it wasn't embarrassing enough to be lusting after a rookie, who was moving in with the suave detective everyone loved.

Dov came around the corner, setting down a stack of paperwork on the desk.

"We can finish this later right?' Dov asked Oliver with a grin.

"If by _we_, you mean _you_. Then yes absolutely. Let's hit the road and catch him bad guys" Oliver replied with a laugh jangling the squad keys.

"Hey, I thought we weren't rookies anymore..." Dov started to complain as he followed Oliver out the door.

Sam chuckled to himself as they continued to argue playfully down the hall. He admitted he'd missed interacting with his fellow officers during undercover work. But today could be one of his last days to enjoy it if his transfer was accepted. He frowned as he thought of Andy's face as she'd snuck into the building. She was almost never late and she was never this late. She'd even missed the morning meeting and probably didn't realize Best had partnered her with him.

Sam sighed and headed for the locker room to see if she'd talk to him. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day though.

* * *

The locker room was deserted as Andy dashed in, dropping her backpack down hard on the bench in front of her locker. She was relieved no one was there to see what a disaster she was. She knew her makeup was smeared and her hair was a mess. She was hoping that if anyone had seen her outside that they assumed the makeup was smeared from the rain and not because she'd been crying. Noelle was always saying that as a female cop you had to make yourself seem tougher then you were to be taken seriously.

Andy changed into her uniform quickly, wiping off the last of the mascara from her cheeks, when she heard a small knock on the door. She already knew who it was without asking.

"If your gonna come in, come Swarek" Andy called wiping her face dry and standing up to see his head poke in.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked with a grin. Andy melted slightly at the sight of his dimples and felt immediately relieved to see him after the events of the night before.

"Who else skulks around women's locker rooms?" Andy teased punching him the arm.

Sam laughed before his eyes narrowed, becoming more serious again.

"Just wanted to make sure your okay before we roll out. You looked a bit upset when we saw you run in." Sam said.

Andy groaned inwardly. She'd been really hoping no one had noticed.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just a hard night last night you know? And then the rain this morning. Traffic was terrible. Sorry I'm late..." She trailed off.

"It's okay McNally. Don't worry about it." Sam replied.

Andy nodded and there was a small awkward pause. She knew that he knew that she wasn't okay. He knew that she didn't want to talk about it.

"So your sure your okay?" Sam asked again raising an eyebrow. He knew she would wave him off but it didn't stop him from trying.

"Yes, let's go already." Andy replied walking past him, heading for the car.

"I'm driving!" He yelled after her, following her out.

"You always drive..." She complained with a smile.

"And you always whine about it." Sam replied.

Andy teasingly stuck her tongue out at him as he rolled his eyes. As they got into the car and strapped themselves in, Andy realized again how much she would have missed this and how happy she was to still have him as a partner. Luke was not going to like hearing that Sam was still her partner, but he would have to deal with it. They worked well together. Like Sam had said... They knew each other's moves. They'd experienced a lot together and trusted each other completely. Andy looked over at Sam as he put the keys in the ignition and reached out to touch his arm.

"I never asked you how you are did I? I mean you got shot at." Andy asked tenderly.

"Dodging bullets is just another day in the life for Sam Swarek." He chuckled starting the car.

Andy shook her head and laughed as they tore out of the parking lot and headed out onto the streets.

"So are you going to tell me what happened this morning or are we just going to pretend everything's all hunkey dorey with you?" Sam asked after they'd been driving around for a while.

"Since when do you say thing's like hunkey dorey?" Andy questioned averting her eyes.

"Your trying to change the subject..." Sam replied with a smirk.

Andy sighed and closed her eyes trying to think of what to say. It was possible that Sam knew about Luke's marriage. Maybe he'd even attended it. He might be able to give her information to make her feel less upset. What if the whole force had attended it. What if everyone knew about this marriage but her? How embarrassing.

"Remember back when you warned me to be careful with Luke because he chooses a different rookie every year? What did you mean by that..." Andy asked cautiously.

"What do you mean, what did I mean by that?" Sam asked back.

"Like... Does he have a reputation? I mean how many rookies has he dated?" Andy asked curiously.

"I thought you didn't want to know. Why the change of heart? I thought everything was great in paradise. I mean moving in together is a big step right?" Sam countered trying to keep his tone light to hide his inner bitterness.

Andy cursed silently. Luke just seemed to love to tell everyone their news before she'd even had a chance to digest it. This was what had happened after the night of the black out too.

"I uh... I found a photo... a wedding photo of Luke with a girl named Zoey. Who is she Sam? Is she a rookie?" Andy asked feeling surprisingly relieved to spill her guts to someone. Holding in such a secret had been harder then she'd anticipated.

Sam was quiet a while before replying.

"I don't know if I should be telling you. You should be asking Luke. It's his story to tell." Sam finally replied after giving it some thought.

"So you do know how she is?" Andy questioned.

Sam simply nodded.

"And...? C'mon please Sam. I can't go the whole day wondering if the guy I'm moving in with is still married. I can't be obsessing about this photo all day. Please help..." Andy pleaded.

"Besides... you owe me." She added.

"Yes, I do owe you one for saving in life and all. Just didn't think you'd be calling in the favour so fast. You supposed to milk these sorts of things." Sam gave a small smile.

Andy just looked back at him with big, round sad eyes and he sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell you the basic details to get you through the day. But make sure you get all this from Luke too. Like I said... It's his story to tell." Sam replied caving in.

"Fine" Andy replied crossing her arms.

"Zoey Martinelli was a rookie from two and a half years ago. She had a lot of promise for a rookie. She was fearless and got along great with everyone. Luke did have a bit of a reputation for dating Rookies, but it doesn't mean he ever treated any of them badly or anything like that and no one really thought anything of it when he started seeing Zoey. The two got really serious though and as you could probably guess from the photo... they ended up getting married pretty quickly. " Sam glanced over at Andy to make sure she was ok.

Andy nodded at him to continue to story. Sam took another deep breath. This was the hard part of the story.

"They'd only been married for a month, before she... before she died." Sam said sadly.

Andy felt her heart drop in sadness for Luke. For the first time it occurred to her that Luke had probably not mentioned it yet because it was still too painful.

"It happened in the new house they had just bought. They were supposed to go for dinner that night, and he was working late on a case. He had just pulled the car into the driveway when he heard the gunshots go off. The guy was gone though... disappeared into the night even though we must've had a million cops searching for him. It was real hard losing one of own...She was going to be a great cop. She worked hard and everyone loved her. It was hardest on Luke the most though obviously. I think he blamed himself for not being home even though he couldn't have kown." Sam said hanging his head as he remembered those sleepless nights the force had spent scouring the city looking for her killer.

Andy didn't realize that they had pulled over somewhere in the middle of his story and that she had tears streaking down her cheeks again for the second time that day. If it was anyone else in the car besides Sam she would have been embarrassed. But he had seen her at her highest and at her lowest. Her knew her well and she just let the tears flow. It had been a hard year and she felt so bad for Luke even though she'd never met Zoey. When she saw that wedding picture all she'd felt was jealous. But now... now she just felt sad and confused.

She didn't know how to feel. How did she even begin to bring up something like this to him? And the fact that Zoey looked just like her... Was that purely coincidence? Andy didn't want to think about it. She felt Sam put a hand on her shoulder lightly and she felt comforted by it. He reached for her with his other hand and she placed her head on his shoulder as he hugged her. Andy sat there for a moment just taking in the energy and comfort from his hug. It felt nice to just sit for a second before she took a couple deep breaths and pulled away.

"Thanks." Andy said wiping her eyes she hoped for the last time that day.

"Hey... What are partners for?" Sam said shrugging his shoulders.

"I know. But you're always there for me. I appreciate it." Andy said honestly.

"Will you be okay for the rest of the shift?" He asked, the lines his forehead furrowed with concern.

"I can make it" Andy nodded putting it aside.

"And you promise to talk to Luke about it?" He asked.

"Yes. Yes... I kind of need to don't I?" Andy replied.

"Yea you do" Sam agreed. He started the car back up and they headed back on the road to answer a call from a woman complaining about noise.

Andy was silent for most of the trip and Sam didn't bother her as she sat thinking. She had a lot to think about. He felt terrible about having to be the one to tell her about Luke's secret. But he also knew she had needed to know. He could see it in her eyes and he'd taken pity. No one around the force talked about that terrible case. Bringing it up again was hard. And it was possible that tomorrow he wouldn't even be her partner if the transfer went through. He'd been planning to tell her today that this might be the last day of their partnership but how could he bring that up with how she was feeling?

Sam sighed shaking his head. Maybe he'd see if she was at the Penny tonight and tell her about the transfer then. Maybe a little Alcohol would make them both feel better...


End file.
